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My Story

Lost Caterpillar

A brief story of my life.

I was never raised in church. Had no real concept of religion, Jesus, Christianity or the Bible. Had good parents that divorced when me and my twin sister were just babies. Here is a picture of me at age 4 or 5ish with my shirt on backwards. I think it represents a good many years of my life. Trying my best, but not knowing how things fit.

My first clay.

At age nine I moved from California where I lived with my mom and twin sister to Salt Lake City Utah where I lived until I graduated at age 18. Age 14 or 15, my step mother gave me some oil based clay. I used to sit in my dads basement and sculpt for hours. Monsters, warriors and peoples faces. Later after I graduated and moved back to California I was a partier. I was promiscuous, drank and smoked pot during this season of my life. I even sculpted pot pipes and demonic things that came out of my lost caterpillar heart. Until one amazing night... 

Troi Cockayne as 5 year old
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From Potpipes to monuments of Jesus

During my crazy party season right after I graduated High School, I was attending a local community college in California and partying regularly. 

After the party. One of my best friends at the time was 'a Christian', whatever that was, I had no idea. He obviously looked no different from anyone else in my party world. One night after many hours of drinking alcohol and smoking massive amounts of pot. He drove me home. It was 2am in the morning. We were both totally drunk and stoned. We parked and talked. I asked him about Jesus because I was curious... the rest of the story includes a second part of my testimony of God delivering me from my own caterpillar churchianity 20 years later. My video testimony I SAW JESUS explains this all in more detail. But, after this encounter, all I wanted to sculpt was Jesus.

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Darkest Season

... and what happened that radically changed my broken caterpillar life.


Finding True Love

The greatest blessing of my life was discovering Jesus meeting me on the tear stained pages of my own personal journal.

The daily comfort, encouragement, divine revelation, inspired whispers of True Love hugging my broken heart into the greatest transformation of my life.

Delivering me from multiyear addictions, to leading me to my perfect spouse who lived in Australia half way around the world, to seeing divine miracles on a regular basis, the benefits of learning to hear God's voice in your own personal journal are too many to list and are beyond priceless.

(This video has 21 instant miracles to God's glory)
Troi and Natasha Cockayne

Butterfly Wings

Knowing God's Voice

When I read Genesis 22:17-18 the account of God providing a lamb in the place of Isaac, I can’t help but think of all the religious activities and ceremonies and rituals we go through as human beings, but when I read verse 18 which states, “Through your seed all the nations of the earth shall be blessed because you ((have heard)) ((and obeyed)) My voice.” I challenge anyone to do a Bible study on the consistent theme of obedience ‘to the voice’ of God.


In fact, Romans 8:14 says, “For all who are led by the Spirit of God are sons of God.”


Learning His voice is foundational in order to be led of His Spirit. Jesus says it very clearly, “My sheep hear My voice, and I know them, and they follow Me.” John 10:27


I went to church for twenty years and no one ever taught me ‘how’ to recognize God’s voice. How important is that lesson??


To know the voice of God is to know the daily guiding presence of True Love. To not know the voice of God is to not know the daily guiding presence of True Love.


In my opinion, this is the most important lesson anyone can learn.


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